Reason #9 - Hanging out with the Family is twice as fun with my nieces around

So tonight we made gingerbread houses, which is a Randall family tradition. It was some serious fun. My friend Erika came along and she and Nick created some sort of fancy castle, while I stuck to a more rustic theme. I had grand ambitions of creating my own pretzel lincoln logs, which quickly dissolved... but it was still a good time and I was pleased with the result.

As fun as gingerbread houses can be, nothing was more fun than watching the constant entertainment my niece provided. I fed Libby sour watermelons, pretzels, and marshmallows,and made her say my name and make the "fish" face 100 times. There's just something absolutely endearing about hearing a little tiny curly haired girl say "Ray Ray." We've been working on that since she was about 8 months old, so I'm glad to know that it paid off. I think she might have said my name before any other aunt or uncle. I'm not going to say that makes me her favorite, but...

Reason #8 - I am determined to love Christmas again

So last year I realized that Christmas suddenly wasn't as special as it had always been. Although I loved the sweet presents I got (how can you not love a set of leopard print mixing bowls), there was a deep emptiness when the present were opened and we all made our way into the family room to plop down and spend a day watching mindless movies and possibly play a few rounds of guitar hero. That was it. All that stress and craziness all for a few minutes of enjoyment and then it's back to real life.

So this year I've decided that no matter how crazy my life has become, I am determined to make the most of this season. I am going to do my best every day to find ways to bring the Christmas spirit into others lives every day, and I am going to find every way possible to bring it into my own as well.

One of the things I'm most excited about this year is to have my whole family together again. There really isn't an occasion quite like those when the entire Randall family is together.

Here are just a few pictures from our most recent family adventure.

Reason #7 - I stopped to smell the roses

I have always been stuck in "move on" mindset. That's not always a bad thing. I think I deal with change because I accept that people can't be in my life forever, and goodbye isn't necessarily about rejection. But sometimes I miss experiencing all life has to offer because I don't take the time to appreciate the things that are right in front of me; I'm too busy looking ahead to what is next.

For the last two months I said yes to a relationship that wasn't going to last forever. I met a man who didn't share my same beliefs, but he loved and respected me. I knew all along somewhere in me, that our lives could never connect on a permanent level, because I know that I need certain things in my life he wouldn't be able to give me. But somehow, I decided it was worth a chance.

I want to say that knowing something precious is temporary makes it valuable, because recognizing that it may leave my life tomorrow helps me appreciate what it means today. I loved every minute that I spent with him, and I treasured every memory we made. In fact, every minute was a memory because I wanted it to be.

I served him more than any other man, because I wanted him to see our time together as beautiful. We said goodbye without fighting, without regret, and without hiding our pain or our feelings. We were honest through everything.

I don't know all the reasons we needed to spend a few short months together. But I know that I remember what it feels like to really love again, and I remember how deeply I have a testimony of God. I know that I have no regrets. And I know that I want to treat everyone in my life as if they will be gone tomorrow. Because wouldn't all our relationships be more precious if we recognized that we might not see each other again?

Reason #6 – I have a lot of things to be thankful for

I’m not intensely connected to Thanksgiving as a holiday. To be honest, turkey is far from my favorite food, although I enjoy it. And I’m just about to eat a Thanksgiving meal for the second time in one week. But no one feels sorry for me, and I truly can’t feel sorry for myself. It will be great. So, in the spirit of all of this gluttonous feasting, I want to recognize the abundance that has been poured out upon me from the Lord over this past year. So here are the things I am most thankful for:

I am thankful for God’s hand in my life. I would be lost without the guidance He gives me daily, even when I least deserve it.

I am thankful for family.

I am thankful for friendships; especially for best friends that live right around the corner and can show up my most desperate moments whether I ask them to or not.

I am thankful for the bond that we build with others, sometimes complete strangers, that show we are all one as a human race, just facing the fierce storms of life side by side.

I am thankful for my own special someone, regardless of our circumstances.

I am thankful for a place to call my own; I love my little sanctuary where I can close the door on the rest of the crazy world and just be me.

I am thankful for those that have shown me what it means to love someone else, and have opened up and allowed me to love them.

I am thankful for a good job, and an amazing boss who takes good care of me.

I am thankful to be healthy.

I’m thankful for lessons learned the hard way, because I don’t have to learn them twice.

I’m thankful that I have only had to scrape snow off my car twice so far this year (even if others aren’t so excited about the lack of snow).

I’m thankful that I got an A- in my stats class, even if I didn’t deserve it.

Most of all, I am thankful for my Savior and the Gospel, without which I can’t imagine where I would be.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Reason #5 - I can accept change

I should have been in bed at least an hour ago as I've finally finished all my homework, but I felt I needed the cathartic release of letting my thoughts find a home outside of myself. Besides, my good friend Maren just gave me a hard time because I am TERRIBLE at posting. I made a promise to her that I would start updating regularly.

I sat with a good friend last night and held her while we cried together and talked about growing pains. I was remembering tonight the first time I made my way home from my student/waitress life in Provo for just a night of respite and some comfort found at home, only to discover that my parents house was torn apart for remodeling, and everyone was moving 100 mph at their own pace doing their own thing. Not only was home not feeling so "homey", but no one seemed to have time to sit down and listen to all of my stress and frustrations. I left that night feeling empty, and lost. The one place I thought I could find comfort temporarily didn't exist.

I also remember clearly the night I prepared for my one and only hospital stay, and how my mother sat on my floor with her knees tucked under her nightgown trembling in despair because life seemed to be falling apart and she wasn't sure she could handle it. I found myself calmly reassuring her that I would be fine, and that the rest of her concerns would all be resolved in time. I was the epitomy of calm and collected despite my predicament, while she could only stand helplessly by and hope things would all turn out okay.

I also remember sitting in the temple watching my cousin Wes sit across the altar from his new bride and commit to her for eternity. And a little piece of my youth died, because the last of the days on the ranch were fading away. Even though we are both far from those days of riding around the mountains for hours in a day, creating mischief because no one else was there to be the troublemakers, and talking until 4am about life and our dreams and fears... I knew the last of those that shared those days with me are married or gone to the next life.

As I look at the black and white of my thoughts the perception of them could be sadness and loss. But as I listened to my dear friend talk of her struggle with change last night I realized that I treasure all of these experiences no matter the emotions that came with them as deeply as I treasure the comforts and joys of my life. It is through the changes I've endured that I've grown and I've become. Our lives are beautiful no matter the occasion, and our experience is invaluable.

I am learning how to treasure every moment I have with those I love regardless of my expectation in the outcome. I know that tomorrow may not bring my heart's desires, but with its sometimes demanding expectations, I know I learn new truth and deeper fulfillment as I accept the will of God in my life, and love the life I have, not hurt from the loss of the life I thought I wanted.

Reason #4 - Fun Work Trips

A few times a year I have the opportunity to go to a Walk 4 Hearing through my work (a walk set up on a weekend morning that supports the hard of hearing community) at various locations in the country. Last year and this year there was a walk held in Washington DC that we participated in as sponsors. This year I decided to take advantage of a free plane ticket and come out a few days early to hang out with my friends in the area. It's been a great week, although I've managed to spend all the money I saved on a free plane ticket at H&M, among other various locations. However, I console myself with the reminder that I did in fact, get a free plane ticket, so at least I didn't spend all of my money on clothing AND a plane ticket.

The week started with sleeping until 2pm EST on Tuesday, after which it was time for some serious shopping. I decided to pick up some make up at the MAC counter while I was out, and ended up spending an hour getting my make up done. You gotta love having time to burn with which there is no reason to say no to a free makeover. When do I take time to do things like that while I'm at home?

Through the rest of the week I took it pretty easy. I managed to visit one or two museums or landmarks each day, and made sure I slept in as late as I felt like it as well. I also indulged myself in things like a Tastee Freeze with fries for dinner, and a night of acknowledging the unbelievable enjoyment DVR can bring to my TV experience.

I have now been to DC 3 times. This time around I went with my friend Winn and her mom to Monticello (the home of Thomas Jefferson), and then followed it up the next day with a visit to Mount Vernon (George Washington's home). Although Monticello was definitely a fascinating place, Mount Vernon absolutely tops my list of things I've seen in DC. I have slowly been making my way through David McCullough's 1776, and my respect and love for George Washington continues to grow the more I learn of the incredible man he was. I have always respected him, but I truly admire his humility, his honor, his honesty, and his willingness to lead a righteous cause, even when it took him away from those things he loved most.

I felt like I was walking on sacred ground as I stepped onto the land of Mount Vernon, and although it's been over two centuries since Washington personally cared for his home, his influence over the grounds can still be felt. I found it interesting as well to see the difference between Jefferson's home which was very much influenced by his experience in France, and Washington's home which is a manor that could have been plucked right off the English countryside and deposited in colonial America. I know that our history is so infantile compared to the European continent, but it is rich with the influence of good men who recognized the power of history and have passed that on to those of us who are still willing to listen and learn.

Reason #3: I have learned to appreciate all my hometown has to offer

Not many people can experience every kind of outdoor fun we have in Utah by merely driving one to four hours in every direction. Last weekend I decided to get in at least one more outdoor adventure before the winter steals the warmth away for a season.

Since my hiking boots purchased ten years ago are still far from being broken in, I figured it was time for a quality hike that was long enough to put some wear and tear into my shoes and give me a good workout. Needless to say, my calves are still being reminded of the joyous adventure 4 days later. But... we took our time on the trail so we could enjoy the day, and had some lunch at the top, which allowed enough time to prepare for the trek back down.

We hiked up to Lake Blanche. Blanche was the name on the birth certificate for my favorite cabbage patch doll I got for Christmas 20 years ago, and it didn't seem to do the lake justice either. Nonetheless it was a beautiful hike. It was just long enough to take up a good chunk of my Saturday and give me a great workout, but not so long I was regretting it halfway up the mountain.

I truly had forgotten what treasures lay just up the canyon from my apartment. By the time we got to the top of the trail we could see the Salt Lake Valley on one side of us, look down at three beautiful lakes in a charming little valley, and still look up to the jagged snow-capped ridges above us. It was a little windy, but in the calm moments there was a beautiful reflection of the trees and snowy ridges on the lake surface. Perfect. I could spend every Saturday just like this.