What's hiding under your bed?

This is not a post about monsters. Or at least not the typical kind that hide under the bed.

Last month Devin caught a cold. It was miserable but didn't last long, except his cough. And that, I realized a couple weeks ago, should really be gone after a month and a half. In fact, I thought back and remembered that he'd had a bit of a dry cough before he ever got sick. And then I got sick. And while we were in the middle of eating a SUPER clean diet, that didn't seem quite right. Then I found the mold.

First, I noticed there was mold up the corners of our room and around the windows. We had someone come look. While he went through the problem (and potential solution), he shined his flashlight under my bed and had me take a look. We had a bit of storage under there, and it was all COVERED in mold. Of course I was sick! I'd been spending hours every night sleeping above a bed of nasty mold. To make matters worse, Brad informed me the next morning there was mold on his shoes. So, we spent the entire weekend cleaning every piece of clothing we own, and wiping down our closets and bathroom (and of course, everything under the bed and in our room).

I started thinking back to a point in time when I started to notice a smell that was different. But it wasn't clearly a moldy or mildewy smell to me. It just smelled like "apartment". That smell that dwellings take on when they've been lived in, smoked in, cleaned, painted, recarpeted, lived in, etc. I didn't think it smelled that way when we moved in, and I didn't think it was something we had done. But I thought maybe we just needed to have the windows open a little more or something.

As we went through this cleaning process, I kept thinking back to that smell. I noticed something was off, but I dismissed it and just moved on. Now, months later we've paid the price in a couple of different ways. We will survive, and life will go on. But I thought about the ways we do this in our day-to-day life. Sometimes things get a little "off" in our relationships, our jobs, our personal lives, and we just keep going, assuming it will be fine, until one day we realize it's really not and something drastic is required to get things back on track.

I recently stood by while a giant wedge was placed in the friendship of two of my closest friends. And in some ways I contributed to it. What kills me is knowing there were moments something was "off", and I could have done something about it. I didn't want to get in the middle, and ended up waiting far too long to step in and help make things right. I hope someday they still will be right. But either way, it was a definite lesson in taking action when it counts.

Marriage became a scary prospect for me as I got old enough to see marriages fail, and covenants get broken. I realized that my husband's choices would impact me wholly and completely once I joined my life to his. Not only that, but I would be responsible for children who would grow up and make mistakes, and sometimes break my heart. I found comfort in the knowledge that just like mold, broken families grow with neglect and without taking the proper precautions. And when problems start to come up, it's possible to make things right early. It's possible to fix things before they are completely broken. There are no guarantees in life, but if I stay close to the spirit and to those I love, and I listen and watch, I can recognize those opportunities to make things right before they are beyond repair.

Five Months

Hi Buddy!

At five months I feel like I've known you forever, and yet I still find myself catching my breath as I look at you and realize you're really ours, that we get to have you as part of our family every day and always.

You caught your first cold this month, and of course it happened just as we were flying out to Utah. I dreaded the day you got sick for the first time, and it was so hard to watch you struggle, but you were a trooper! I kept you in my room with me at Mimi and Papa's house, and even though I didn't get as much sleep I was so grateful I could snuggle you in the evenings since I was at work events all day.

Hanging out with Papa

Devin and Cousin Aria

You finally rolled over this month! You've only done it twice so far, but the first time I laid you on your tummy, and I knew the moment you laid down that you were going to roll over. And you did, just like it was no big deal! After those first couple of times you decided to wait on that... but you manage to move yourself backwards and in circles on tummy time now while you play.

A dear friend from work sent you a "lovey" around Christmas. It's a little bit of blankie on the bottom attached to the head and arms of a bunny. I waited to put it in bed with you thinking you were not quite ready to snuggle with something. Boy was I wrong! It's the best to watch you wrap your little arms around it and nuzzle it as you fall asleep.

Devin and his "Lovey"

You still love tubby time and I had to remove the insert from the tub because you kept pushing yourself up over the top. You're still using the little tub, but you now lay in it like a big kid. In fact, I put you in the big tub when we were in Utah and you LOVED it! I didn't even have to hold your head. You could have wiggled and kicked yourself up and down the length of the tub all day if I had let you.

Your sleeping has been all over the place this month. We've had a few nights of solid sleep, and then the last few weeks you decided that every 2 hours was a good time to wake up. I realized we've been pretty spoiled since you've been such a good sleeper, but now that you're feeling a bit better you're definitely sleeping better too. Phew!

We tried solid foods for the first time this month. Not too much, just a few things to get you thinking about it. You've tried banana, sweet potato, and a little avocado. So far it's taken a day to adjust to each but you're definitely willing to eat once you've had a chance to get used to new things.

You have also discovered your tongue! I stuck my tongue in and out one day at you, and you did it right back. After that, there was no going back. You constantly have your tongue out between your lips when you smile, or have found other variations of using your tongue in your expressions. It's adorable. And I love watching you mimic us.

Oh! And one more fun thing... you finally have enough hair to style. :) Dad doesn't love the baby mohawk look, but even he admitted that on you it's pretty darn cute!

Your new "do", that goes perfectly with that dimple!

Devin, you bring joy to everyone you meet. You are so generous with your infectious smile, and you never hesitate to share it with someone new. Someone asked me recently what surprised me the most about motherhood, and I told them I didn't expect to be so excited to "hang out" with my baby. I was excited to snuggle, hold, feed, and care for my baby, but I didn't expect that I would wake up on Saturday mornings so excited that we get to just be together all day, whatever the day brings. It's so amazing to be able to communicate with you even though we can't share words yet. You are more fun than I could ever imagine, and we are so blessed you are here with us!

xoxo,

Mom and Dad

The 5 month Walter comparison :)

Miriam's Disney birthday party

Your first tie